Sunday, April 12, 2009

Self Appointed No Wake Cops

It's that time of year again. Spring bring warm weather, boaters out on the water and the self appointed wake police who love to spend hours blasting away on the emergency and hailing channel 16.

The Isle of Palms is home to one of the loudest of the self appointed Wake Cops, he's relentless in his verbal VHF attacks on anyone who dare create even the smallest wake near his dock just a few yards into the "NO WAKE ZONE" centered on the IOP Marina.

His endless admonishment of violators attacked my ears all summer long last year and I've had enough.

Saturday evening he was at it again, calling out a captain of some commercial boat moving north on the ICW. The captain of the alleged violating boat elected to give the NO WAKE COP at little mouth and that began a five minute back and forth discourse that locked up channel 16 for the duration.

Normally these exchanges are entertaining or annoying depending on your perspective, but Saturday the endless attack of the NO WAKE COP became dangerous.

Wind blowing out of the West at 14 knots is not a problem even with a following current pushing 80 tons of fiberglass down the fairway making 4 knots at dead idle.

But my efforts to raise the Charleston City Marina dock staff are thwarted by the NO WAKE COP blasting away nearly six miles across the harbor.

The NWC was going on and on about the wayward captain's auto driving skills and his belife that the captain never stops at 4 way stops sign after midnight, when Coast Guard Sector Charleston came over the radio with the familiar admonishment and request to take their conversation to a working channel.

Much to my shock the idiot NO WAKE COP began a conversation with Sector Charleston about the apparent offender and how he was video taping the whole event, with my hands full of boat and wind, and a good crew on deck I elected to turn off the radio.

Today safely back at the dock, I'm going to make a point of ending the IOP NO WAKE COP's career. I have no idea what drives WAKE COPS, perhaps they are afflicted with some physical ailment, their boating life was cut short by a wayward wake now confined to a deck side seat as the rest of us sail by. Victims of the economic slowdown who have lost their boats to foreclose. Or just bored with their small lives and obsessed with the need to yell at people.

I have no idea why he insists of broadcasting at 25 watts rather than 1 watt which would keep most of his yapping on the other side of the harbor.

I not sure what drives these idiots, but I've had enough. If someone wakes your dock and you don't like it file a claim in court but stay off the airways you are a nuisance and a danger to the marine community.

I'm going to file a formal complaint with the USCG and with the FCC is hopes of banning the IOP NO WAKE COP from the airwaves. I'm also asking the SCDNR to enforce the no wake zone around IOP.

If you know the identity of the IOP NO WAKE COP drop Life Floating By an email at

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